Running Scared

As my half marathon in Dallas is now less than a week away I am feeling the heavy weight of having 2 very successful marathons on my shoulders. While that should make me feel more confident in my running, it doesn't. to me it feels like a standard that I would like to continue but I just can't see that happening. This is not "down talk" this is simply being realistic with my own personal expectations.

I was talking with my Dad the other day about the way that I was feeling and he made a point that really stuck with me.  He asked me if I was doing the level of conditioning that I had been when I made those times.

Don't get me wrong I still love a good run but I have also found other things that I love too and want to spend time doing those things other than running. So no, I really haven't been putting as much into my running as I was then.

In my head I FORGET all of the long hours that I put into my running and can only see the results. I only see how fast I was and don't remember the freezing cold long runs, the hot summer runs and all of the runs in between.

My conditioning alone would have set my time at a slower pace but that paired with still not (and possibly ever) being acclimatized to the heat and humidity that I love any time OTHER than when I am running. My fastest runs have been when it's been cold and dry and this is because I HATE being cold and will run as fast as I can to get back in a warm house!!!!

This is how hot it was today (I am NOT complaining because it is only June, there are two months that are going to be wayyyyyyy hotter) My cup holder melted to my coffee mug that was sitting in my car while I was at work...

Thinking of these things I am not mentally preparing myself for a bad run, I am simply trying to get rid of the expectation that I have to blow this run away.

To put it simply, any run that I enjoy is a good run, regardless of ANYTHING ELSE! When I start to feel stressed about making a good time all I have to do is remind myself that a year ago I had a fractured foot and a week after that was clear to run on a shattered collar bone and a much longer recovery.

I came home from work to find bills, bills AND a letter from my Aunt Vicky :) It was such a wonderful little surprise and me so happy!

Yesterday, ok and Saturday I indulged in some R and R by my apartment pool! I got to just sit and read in the warm sun! Another one of my very favorite things! If I could always be in a swimming suit an flip flops I would! But I think that is against company policy.

 I went to this crazy, amazing HUGE festival big sale thing in Canton on Saturday. It was like a street market if the street market had a million people there over 4 days. Yeah everything IS bigger in Texas. This was one of the signs that made me laugh at a shop.

 I found a little piece of home!!!!! It just happened to  be sitting on one of the tables as I was walking by! How crazy is that??? While I am not sure what exactly "Walter's" is it was funny that all the way down here in Texas was a little box from Eau Claire, WI!!!!

 Yes in fact those are rubber rain/cowboy boots. Unfortunately I had to pass them up but not before the sales guy could stick a card into my hand! With all the rain we had here last week and by rain I actually mean flash floods, but seriously, those just might come in handy.

 And then there was this, which just doesn't even need a caption, but you really can find ANYTHING an EVERYTHING at Canton!